But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
