great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
