Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize