how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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