it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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