Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
