What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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