Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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