I look better un-naked...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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