I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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