dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
