she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
