i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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