I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
