some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
