This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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