after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize