I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
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I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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