like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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