Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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