i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
