I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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