FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
