i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
