I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
