there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
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You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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