I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Me too!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
