They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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