I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
