Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
