is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
