Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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