take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
