I got chris browned last night
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
