But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
