oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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