I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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