Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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