The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
