billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Randomize
