the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
