just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
