OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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