So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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