Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Scratch_daddy_87 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...

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(712): View more from Iowa

The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

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(214): View more from Texas

He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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(330): View more from Ohio

hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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(410): View more from Maryland

He asked if I wanted to "hang out"

(410): View more from Maryland

A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"

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(347): View more from New York

Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.

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(425): View more from Washington

'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink

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