I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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