if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
