I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
