Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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