when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He felt like a one man threesome
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This baby is an asshole
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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