I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
