i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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