Everything about him screamed your future.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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