Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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