did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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