Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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