This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
