I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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