I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
