I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
